October 15th, 2008

Mr. Twister


Ok, that was just brutal. Sure the market looked like it it was just going to loiter around outside the 7-11, stinking up the air just outside the store begging investors for a few quarters, but then, out of nowhere, after hours without a complaint (except from that one asshole guy from New Jersey who is always in a bad mood) it teetered back and forth a few times, and crashed into the glass double doors, scattered glass shards everywhere before staggering into that flimsy Hostess display, knocking it into the candy aisle and starting a cascade of skittles and peanut M&M showers. For a brief second, it looked like it might regain its balance, but over-corrected, teetered the other way and, before groaning loudly, collapsed onto the cold and flu remedy shelves and into a Nyquil soaked heap just before pissing itself. Now, owing to the olfactory blend of chocolate, Nyquil, sour sweat and urine, the store is totally uninhabitable. -- dealbreaker.com
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